As the year is coming to a rapid closing, I can't help but feel nostalgic. My heart hurts as I look over the memories from this past year. I am sad, happy, and angry all at the same time. I went into this year with so many expectations, and nothing happened the way that I thought it would. Don't get me wrong, this year was amazing, but nothing like I expected. I was trying to make so many things happen, I thought I could write my own story. Shortly after taking things into my own hands, I was brought back to reality.
I think of the people who were in my life at the beginning of this year, those who said they were with me for the long-run. I think of how some of them aren't here anymore, how I had to mourn their loss. They're not dead, just not apart of my life anymore, so in a way thy are dead, just not physically. I have had people who I know my life story just walk out of my life, act like they never knew me. It's just so weird how people can make such big promises, tell you they'll always be there for you, then leave. It's like from one day to the net they realized they don't want a part in your life anymore. It's sad how people think that's okay. I have had to let go of my negative feelings toward them and realize there must be a reason, even if I don't get why. People have seasons, they are in your life for a time, I realize that now. It's okay, the ones that really need my attention are those who love me and care for me now. Those are the people I need to focus my energy on. I love those who love me, and pray for those who don't. I'm not perfect, but I care about people. I care about them so much because it's what Jesus would want me to do. Plus it makes me happy. When I think about the wrong things people have done to me this year and the years before it makes my head hurt, brings that pain up again. It comes back to the point to where it feels like a fresh wound again. I can't do that anymore, cause myself that pain. I have to let go and move on. Saying it is easier than actually doing it, but saying it is half the battle. There are so many things going on in my life and in the lives of those around me. There's so much going on that I can't let the negativity get to me. I am blessed, I am alive, healthy, and live a pretty awesome life. So why would I spend my time worrying about what I don't have? That's just selfish. I didn't know what I was getting myself into at the beginning of 2015, and I'm not so sure I know what the next 365 days hold either. I can take a guess, I can dream, I can plan, but I don't know for sure. I do know that 2016 is a new year, a new season, and it holds so many surprises"Everyday above ground is a good day." I can't wait each day to open a new adventure. I'm just here for the ride, whatever God has for me has got to be good! I live by the quote "Everyday Is An Adventure" cause it's true (good or bad). I feel there is a theme for each year. Last year it was "Let go," the year before that was "Healing", This year I feel it's "Change," so we'll have to see. For so long I have been afraid of change, being brought out of my comfort zone. I can't live in fear anymore, I've been terrified of life for far too long.
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AuthorReggie is a college gradute with a degree in English. She loves traveling and hopes to one day stay on the battle field for missions. Life is a book and everyday is an adventure, follow her on this journey and see the world through her eyes. Archives
November 2017
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