Today, we went to Columbine high school. How crazy it was to see the actual school where the horrible shooting happened. We also drove over to the memorial and saw the different messages on the plaques. It's so sad to think of the lives that were lost. In the end they will never been forgotten After that we found Ice Cream Riot and basically got diabetes from a Poptart Ice Cream Sandwich. The ice cream was blueberry pop tart smashed in between two strawberry pop tarts. It was good but you could honestly split one with someone. Had such a sugar rush afterwards. Our time in Denver was short, but memorable. The adventures we were on we're small ones but so much fun. I didn't get to do half the things I wanted to do here in Colorado, but there's always a next time. Now headed home to face reality. Sometimes it's good to forget a little. Let go of the bad and find some good. Life is great, just need to make the most of it.
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Tuesday we flew out around 9am and got to Denver around 12:30pm. We got to the hotel and our godkids came to stay with us. We spent the day at the pool and getting situated. That evening we went to Cheddars for dinner (which is a great restaurant that is only in Midwest/ Eastcoast). Then we went home, cause a few shows for Shark Week then went to bed. Wednesday was spent relaxing during the morning then the afternoon we all went to get food at Pizzeria Locale but found it by mistake when stopping at a Noodle place. It was #6 on my list I found on Pinterest on "50 Things to do in Denver." It was crazy that we found it. The Hawaiian pizza was amazing. I don't want to hear people's comments on the pineapple because it was so good (don't judge me). We then went to drive around for a bit, passed the capitol and just explored. We found ourselves driving around Parker and found this park. We let the kids run around at this park and found the cutest little coffee shop called Fika Coffee House. It was adorable and the little square that it's in was so adorable and the weather was nice. Unexpected adventures are my favorite, today was definitely one of those.
Today started out kind of rough. I found myself waking up abruptly this morning from a nightmare about the crash. I was upset all morning and had a massive headache. I find that even with the distractions, the music, the migraine medicine, I can't shake those emotions from the wreck. When they hit, they hit like a ton of bricks. I keep praying for peace, when I do, after sometime I feel peace. I find myself able to go on with my day, but at times the fear is so overtaking I can't handle it. I'm not scared to get into a car or to drive, but I'm just afraid. I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself that I'm stronger than this and that I shouldn't play the victim, but I can't help it. Talking about it and getting my thoughts off my chest has been good, it helps me process everything. I'm okay for a little while, then the cycle continues. As I enjoy my time here in Denver I smile, but I know this is slowly coming to and end and soon I'll be back home, facing my reality once again. I can't escape forever, but I feel like I've been trying to. I always tend to run when hard times come. I didn't know when I started running I'd be running my whole life. The first day after the accident was hard. I stayed home all day and didn't want to do anything. I had a visitor to keep me company, but once they left the silence started to eat at me again. Saturday my friend Lizette and my parents took me out of the house. We went on an adventure and got my mind off of things. It was nice. We went to Maz Cafe con leche and tried some fun coffees. We also took some cute pictures in their cute set up they had. After that we drove to Dana Point for fun and ended up running up and down the 1,000 Steps that we found by chance. Then we found the Sawdust Art Walk and had a grand time. The art walk had art from local artists. It held live music from a great band, and it was just a peaceful atmosphere. The art was up for sale and most artists had prints of their work as well. Liz and I ended up getting some really cute toe rings and drank some really warm wine. It was overall a good day and a much needed distraction.
Sunday we went to church and I had to retell the story about 100 times more. My anxiety had kicked up and it was hard to talk about it, but I got through it. The service was about praying more and giving your cares to the Lord. I've been having so much anxiety trying to figure out how I'm gonna get these memories out of my mind. I realized I haven't been giving it to the Lord like I should. I kept praying for peace. I started to feel better about the situation, but not fully. Monday was spent packing doing laundry and getting ready to leave to Colorado. My dad was flying out for work, my mom was going with him to go see our godkids and they decided to let me tag along thinking it would be good for me. Yesterday, I had one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. I'm still a bit shaken up so it's hard to put this all down in words. My car had been making this weird noise for a while, but usually it's from it running low on oil. While I was away in Mexico with my mother my dad took it to get an oil change and work on the AC because it was just blowing hot air. I was leaving yesterday around 1:00pm to go pick up my best friend so we could get coffee and just have a nice afternoon. As I started my car I heard that noise still. I called my dad and asked him about it, he said "they changed the oil and said the clicking sound is a little part that needs to be changed but your car is still fine to drive, the noise is just annoying." I didn't think anything else of it, I left my house around 1:10pm and about 1:20 my air started to get hot again, I tried to turn the AC on then off, then put the windows down a bit and then left the AC alone and tried to ignore it. I was on fasttrak on the 91 West and so as I was getting a little annoyed I used my hands free app and told Siri to text my dad and say "The AC in my car lasted for about five minutes and now it's back to being hot." Within two minutes of this I heard a pop in my car. I wasn't sure what it was but then I started smelling gas in my vents. I started to pull my car over to the shoulder and it started smoking. The car turned off on me and I could turn the steering wheel. As I grabbed my phone off the holder I started to call my dad, as it was ringing the car started smoking and I jumped out of the car. My hazards were on and so was the car still. I called my dad freaking out telling him that "my car is smoking, dad what do I do?" He said "stay calm, I'm calling AAA." I said "should I call 911?" He said "I don't think you'll need to, but we'll see." About a minute later I started walking to the car to try to get my backpack from the passengers seat and the hazards had stopped and windshield wipers started going off and flames started from the car. I decided at this point I needed to back away from the car and call 911. As I was talking to dispatch she said "ma'am someone had already called us, an officer is on the way, take a deep breath it's going to be okay." As she said this in attempt to keep me calm I was already hysterical. As I'm on the phone with her a Santa Ana officer pulled up behind me and asked if I was okay, I explained to him the situation and he took my phone to talk to dispatch. In his attempt to keep me calm, we heard a huge pop and found that the airbag was being deployed and windshield exploded. As that happened he told me to get back and stood in front as to shield me from the bang. As we waited for the next few minutes the fire department arrived in attempt to put out the flames and Anaheim PD showed up and the Santa Ana officer said "I hope everything works out for you." And drove off. By this point I've already called my dad to tell him what's happening and he tells me he's about five minutes away. With the fastrak and freeway almost completely stopped, I didn't think he was gonna make t through. The Anaheim PD already came and asked the situation also and I explained to them what had happened through my tears and adrenaline. The officer put his arm on my back and said "this car and everything in it can be replaced, but we can't replace you." I finally heard words that helped me calm down. He then went on to say "I'm just glad you're okay." The next 10 minutes or so we waited as now two fire trucks and several firemen were putting out the car. A firefighter finally walked over and asked me for my drivers license and car insurance and everything else, but it was too late, everything was destroyed. As I began talking to him my father showed up and they took him to see the car. As he saw it they were taking out what they could find still together from my trunk. He looked at the car and walked over and said "are you okay" and I said yes as he hugged me. The next half hour was spent waiting for the tow truck, dealing with information and insurance exchange with the police and firemen and then finally taking what remained to my dads car. I walked over and took pictures and video of the car to see what was left and nothing was there. Behind the black ashes what remained was the foam of the seats. My backpack, my high school and college tassels, my Polaroid camera, pictures, my great grandmothers rosary, my college cap, my cds, my sunglasses, my rainbow sandals, my journal, blankets, iPod, and other things were just gone. was thankful to be alive but I'm still sad about the things I lost that I worked so hard for. I then proceeded to leave with my dad and head home. By the time I got home all I wanted was to see my mom. She saw me and we both broke down crying. She was terrified and I was still in shock. We talked about what had happened and the events leading up to it. Before I left it just felt like an ordinary day. This is what was left of my car. I was so mad because I had been getting cabin fever being home, and the time I finally decide to go out I almost died. I was still shaken for hours, not sure what to do with myself. I kept playing the day's events over and over in my head. I was terrified, all alone on the side of the freeway. Had I not acted fast enough I could have been in the car too. To think that if anything had gone differently, the outcome could have been worse. I am grateful to be alive, grateful for the person who called 911 for me, for the firemen who risked their lives to put my car out, and for the police men making sure I was safe and keeping me calm. I'm going to be 22 in two weeks, and to think that the enemy was trying to take me out. I don't see this just a physical accident, but a spiritual attack. I made it out alive. I am still very emotional and although I am comforted but the words and support of those around me, I think this is going to take some time for me to heal. This morning I have taken time to just sit in my word and soak on God's grace. I replay the events over and over in my head, I can't get this images out of my mind. I can still feel the fear I felt and the rush of adrenaline as I decided to fight or fly.
All the things I was worried about before I left yesterday, I can't even remember what they were. I am hanging on to my family and the ones who love me. I am even more appreciative for the life that I have and I can't imagine if things had been any different. I don't know why that happened yesterday, or what bad things usually happen, but I do know this. I know God was watching over me, I know he has a purpose for me, and I know he loves me. Some days you wake up and have everything l planned out. Where you're going to eat, what time you'll be ready, and when you'll come home. My days are usually not like that and I've found out that those are usually my best days. Today was one of those days. My mom woke me up and said that she wanted me to go out to LA with her. I am typically reluctant to go, because I don't do good with the traffic, but I went anyway. While on the way over there she told me to find a fun coffee spot for us. We ran some errands at the Flower District and I got my usual bouquet of colorful flowers. Flowers are my love language and every time we stop by LA I have to get at least one bunch of them. After we ran errands we drove not even five minutes away to Stumptown Coffee Roasters. I found it on Pinterest and knew that we had to try it. We tried the Iced Vanilla Latte's and they were amazing. They are pretty big with their cold brew, but if you want something sweeter the latte is the best. Before we finished our coffee orders, we were thinking of getting food, when the girl at the register told us that it would be better to order from the food truck outside. The truck was called Free Range LA. It was some of the best chicken i've had. My favorite was the crispy potatoes, omg they are amazing. My mom and I usually find ourselves on little adventures here and there and some have been greatly successful, like this one. This one was also different, because today is different.
Exactly a year ago today, my family went through a rough time, and I wasn't sure if we were going to come out of it. We were bent so far we almost broke. So seeing how far we've come and knowing that God brought us through a time we didn't think we could get past is such a miracle. I tend to reminisce on where I was the year before and reflect on where I am now. Since that dark day my family has grown closer and stronger as a unit and I am so thankful to have them. We are all in a different place than we were last year and it's great to see the progress. My mother and I talked and cried and were able to really let some things go. With our talks alone, it was worth the trip, the food and flowers were just extra. |
AuthorReggie is a college gradute with a degree in English. She loves traveling and hopes to one day stay on the battle field for missions. Life is a book and everyday is an adventure, follow her on this journey and see the world through her eyes. Archives
November 2017
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