Every year for valentine’s Day. I buy myself a piece of Tiffany jewelry. Last year it was little necklace. The classic Tiffany one, with my initials on the back. I loved and cherished that necklace so muc, i never took it off. Until one time over the summer I was going swimming. I knew to take it off because chlorine would tarnish it. So for the first time in four months I took it off. I slipped it into my shorts picked and though it was protected while I swam. A couple hours later when I went to put my shorts back on, my necklace was nowhere to be found. I searched for what seemed like forever, but it was nowhere to be found. In attempt to save it, by my own hands I lost it. I guess you could say it’s the same for love in general. You try to save it, cherish it, but sometimes we bring on our own demise. We try to save someone, or even something so special, and by attempting to do so, we lose it anyways. Our fear of losing it becomes a reality at our own hand. Yet, sometimes, losing something (or someone) is inevitable. If it’s meant to be “it’ll be” as they say. So on the other hand, if it’s not meant to be, we’re going to lose it whether we like it or not, right? I guess this was a lesson I learned too late.
I didn’t lose him, He didn’t lose me. We tried so hard to make the puzzle pieces fit that we were damaging the edges on the way out. We were never meant to be. Like lovers in the majority of the Nicholas Sparks films, we weren’t meant for forever. People try to say you’ll never recover from a lost love, but in reality, we didn’t really have love. We had this idea of love, idea that was warped from the start. I guess I can thank Nicholas Sparks for that. For the misconstrued idea of love. That’s it’s either perfect, or so perfect one of us has to die and mourn the loss of the other forever, leaving the audience with wrenching pain that they will speak of for life. The kind that they will also search for, and if it doesn’t meet their standards then it can’t possibly be love, can it? I blame Sparks, the books, and especially Disney, for this generations’ idea of love that is solely that, an Idea, a thought, that doesn’t exist. I blame everyone in the church who claims that God has “the one” for them, when this is the fifth person they’ve said that about. We don’t truly know what love is, but we think our idea of it is correct. I guess that’s why I can’t blame him for his definition of it. But I blame him for trying to convince he knew what Love really was. Truth is, he didn’t. Truth is, I didn’t either, I still don’t. I do know that I loved a version of him that didn’t exist. I know that I made a commitment to him, and I intended to stick it out, but I guess he wasn’t strong enough to lift that load with me. In the end, days like today, (especially today) leave me wondering if love actually exists. If it does, will I ever have it? Or is the idea of love going to be the closest I ever get to the real thing? Well, it was Plato that believed in the theory of forms. So maybe I’m not that far off from love afterall.
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AuthorReggie is a college gradute with a degree in English. She loves traveling and hopes to one day stay on the battle field for missions. Life is a book and everyday is an adventure, follow her on this journey and see the world through her eyes. Archives
November 2017
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